I'm not really a melancholy man, but....

This is a great song and melody and performance and video presentation.... Watching the clouds go by with Mike Pinder and The Moody Blues.

A New Month

Last month--well, with just one posting at the beginning, you can tell that it was another one filled too much to do, too many distractions, and when the moments were right, too much procrastination. This time, also, some unfortunate news that relates to my personal life came to the forefront of my thoughts and emotions.

As usual, there must be music when I return. So here it is:



I very much recommend the CD, btw.

Another Book!

Another book when none of the earlier ones have been finished.... But on May 23 the idea came, as did the urgency. So something was written... Surprising me. We'll see.

The Immortal Soul Sweetened by Mortality

.... Or the mortal soul freed by death to join immortality forever.

The world within, the world outside, merged into one expansive universe. Each of us has the same understanding.

Finally!

Today I sent out a translation submission to two major publishers--something I've been meaning to do for months. When you finally DO IT (whatever it is you've been wanting to do), there's a psychological release of a great understanding that it was all simple and could have been just as simple when you had the motivation first.

Anyway, as I was preparing the submissions, mathematical chances fell into place. If I needed just two more sheets of paper to type something out, two more sheets would be exactly there, left in what had been a pile of paper. Things like that. Not that I ascribe any supernatural elements to the preparations, just the steady appearance of random chance that I find interesting. Now, if the submission to either publishing house meets with success, then I should reexamine the situation.

All of us get these "finally!" moments when we take action after action has been delayed. These moments are very good, indeed, and produce the energy for achieving more "finally" moments that haven't yet arrived.

This translation project is not part of the two goals I referred to in my last post. Close to them, however, and certainly a priority in the overall scheme of life accomplishments. For those two more immediate goals I want to, need to, say "Finally! in the coming months.

Back to the translation submission: Long shots, even though I believe that if accepted, the resulting published book would meet with wide notice, critical acclaim and at the very least good sales. But the publication of translations in the United States is primarily limited to the small press, something I want to get out of.

May 1st

Today is the traditional Workers' Day and an even more traditional pagan day of celebrating something or another, probably whatever was considered spring in those ancient times or the coming of warm weather, the earth blooming and becoming productive again.

It's a new month anyway and a good moment to recommit to one's own personal work and yearned-for productiveness.

They are several goals I'd like to actualize in the coming summer months. Two are worth mentioning in just a journal notation type of way: One is to finish off a project I started several years ago and which I promise myself every other month to finally finish. The other is to substantially complete a book of fiction whose concept is, I think, unique and whose message (yes, there is one at least) is vital to the world some of us live in. The novel has already been begun, but still is in the brewing stage effectively. It is not the first time I've tried my hand at a longer fictional work (I've already had short stories published here and there), but I only finished one novel a long time ago, and it was trash and almost went into the trash. This one, the new one, is different, however. Because now I have something to say, and I believe I know how to say it.

There are other concurrent and important projects I must somehow attend to, but the above two are the ones that will critically determine my psychological state as the year nears its end. The most spirit impacting will be the novel goal. This I know. Of course, there will be unforeseen events that will have their influence, too. But the impulses of body and mind, and the discipline of both, must be directed toward the two goals. Life will deal with the rest.

Musical Interlude

Whenever I'm away from the blog for a few weeks (which means things have been personally hectic), it's always good to come back with a musical clip from You Tube. This one brought tears to my weary eyes. Perhaps the Halina Poswiatowska poetry I had been reading beforehand had primed me emotionally, perhaps the cloudy, lonely day outside or that the actor reminded me somewhat of my son. Whatever the reason, this clip melted me. It is a montage of photos from a Polish Chopin film (CHOPIN PRAGNIENIE MILOSCI, 2002) scored with Chopin's Waltz no. 19 in A Minor. I must see this film!

Times Square is No More

Once in a while, I go back to the old neighborhood, which for a year or two was Times Square, as I lived in a SRO (Single Room Occupancy) hotel around 1980. Whenever I go back I become shocked, once again, at the speedy tearing down of older buildings and their replacement with either glass slivers or massively tall business/hotel/tenant buildings that, like their sliver counterparts, lack architectural uniqueness or inspiration. These buildings are impressive in a bullyish, luggish sort of way--they overwhelm the senses simply due to their height, as they plunge the streets below into shadow and deny the pedestrian the sight of any expansive horizon.

This last, most recent visit has confirmed to me that Times Square is no more. Anything that remains of the old New York is the odd man out (or odd building out). The neighborhood has been transformed. The heart and soul of this part of New York is gone, and, sadly, other neighborhoods in Manhattan are suffering the same fate or headed in the same direction.



Pictured above: Heading up 8th Avenue, between 40 and 41 St., one finds this pristine, just finished NY Times building that rises 52 stories. There used to be a row of small buildings here that contained local, and cheap, food and clothing stores--and, yes, a few sex emporiums. Another high rise building is scheduled to be built between 41 and 42 St.



Above: This is a view of 42 St, from 8th Avenue looking east. Note the shadows.

For a few decades, the Times Square area was known and visited for its many double-bill theatres, which showed a wide range of B-films, foreign and domestic, and its porn "palaces" and smaller sex stores. 8th Avenue had some of the seediest porn emporiums, rich with X-rated films and magazines, peep shows, live actions shows and live action girls, and ejaculations from passionate and sometimes frenzied, but otherwise well-behaved, men. A particular favorite among the male clientèle, but almost never written about, were the booths a customer entered that contained a metal paneled window that would rise when the customer deposited his token (bought inside the store) to reveal naked girls on a confined stage, one of whom would approach the customer for a $1 tip that allowed the customer to touch the girl for a brief period of time until the window went down. The $1 tip rose to $2 before this live girl action disappeared courtesy the Giuliani Administration's crack-down on porn palaces. Only a couple of live girl places are open nowadays in the Times Square region, and the entertainment has gotten more expensive and devoid of genuine human contact. Whoever may wish to indulge in this new entertainment gets a nude masturbation show from a girl who is separated from the customer by a glass window. Cost $30.

In the photo below you will see one of these dinosaur 8 Avenue establishments (the white building) and to its right a nude entertainment bar that may or may not have full nudity. (I'm not up on the current zoning laws, which may prohibit full nudity in a place that serves alcohol.) What you should pay attention to in the photo are not these buildings, however, but rather the empty space to the right that is surrounded by a low wooden wall painted blue. That empty space takes up a quarter of an entire block (the block, not just the street). Without doubt, we will see a massive high-rise there by the end of the year. A long life expectancy of the buildings you do see is surely in doubt.



[All photos above: Mirek]

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Addendum 3/13/08: Doing some Googling, I came across photos of what was demolished--several buildings, including "The Playpen," which at one time was a movie theater, but in its last years was a porn emporium. With these photos, the memories of what was there flooded back to me: a SRO hotel on the corner, a novelty "Funny Store," a nice red brick walk-up, one more porn place, smaller than The Playpen.

Here's The Playpen years ago, with its distinctive neon live-girl. That's the way I remember it when I lived in the area.



Here's the facade before demolition. By then the neon girl had been replaced with a New York City skyline, showing the Twin Towers.



Here's a nice lens-eye photo of all the buildings that went down:



Gone!



[None of these addendum photos had photographer credits, but if anyone can ID the photographers, I'll gladly put up that information.]

An attempt was made to save The Playpen. A committee was formed with an online petition:

We, the undersigned, recognize the history of the Playpen Theater, which has stood at 693 8th Avenue at 44th Street, New York City, for over 91 years. Operating under the names of the Ideal, Esquire, Squire, Cinecitta, New Cameo, Cameo, Adonis, and the Playpen, this theater has survived over 9 decades of the City's development.

Built in the Beaux-Arts style in 1916 by S. Eisendrath & B. Horowitz, the same architects of Brooklyn's landmarked Congregation Beth Elohim synagogue, the architecture of this structure should be preserved for future generations.

We recognize that the theater was a neighborhood theater from 1916 until the 1930s, when it became a leading "arthouse" and foreign film cinema for over 40 years. Thus this building is a vibrant thread in the fabric of our City's cultural history.

Thus, to lose the Playpen Theater would be a tragic misfortune for the citizens of the City of New York.

We call upon you, Mr. Tishman, to save the theater from demolition.

We call upon you, New York City officials and the NYC Landmarks Preservation Commission, to save the theater, to "list" it under the Special Theater Subdistrict zoning laws, and to protect the Playpen Theater as a New York City landmark as soon as possible.

One interesting fact: During its long history, the theater showed Russian films and the FBI was staked out opposite trying to uncover communists!

I'm Just a Dreamer

I just heard this song and had to find a YouTube clip. Problem is that Ozzy is too much of a joke now, but if you can discard that and listen to the song, you may get something nice from it. Beatle-like, Lennon-like, Harrison-like, with a good bit of ELO, in there, I think. Ozzy's "Imagine."

I'm impressed.

I must add that I like dreaming, although not much is accomplished by it.

New Book Project #1

On Thursday, the 21st of this month, February, I received an e-mail stating that my book proposal was accepted by a publishing house. The contract should follow in the mail. I'm rather mysteriously keeping more information private for a number of reasons. So this is a mere notation, in a journal-type situation.

Though a part of the book is done in draft form, much work will be needed for the due date of March of next year. I'm looking forward to the work, however, as the topic is something I've been fascinated with and researching for years. The book will be significant and hopefully of solid use to an interested readership.

In all such endeavors, one has to manage one's time and become more organized than ever before. Time management and organization have been my weaknesses, so it's imperative that I get better at both.

The Only Thing We Have to Fear

... is fear itself.

While websurfing I came across this page on NBC, What Freaks Stars Out? A slideshow presents celebrities and their phobias. We learn, for instance, that Drew Barrymore has a fear of enclosed spaces (claustrophobia), Kim Basinger, a fear of open spaces (agoraphobia), David Boreanaz, a triple threat of closed spaces, heights and waterfalls, Colin Farrell and Aretha Franklin, a fear of flying, Sarah Michelle Geller, a fear of graveyards, Nicole Kidman, a fear of acting (no, that's not a joke--I think!), Madonna fears thunder, while Matthew McConaughey fears revolving doors and tunnels. The list goes on.

Unfortunately, the piece does not mention what these celebrities do to overcome their fears (if their fears are overcome). Do they take medication? Are they going through therapy? A combination of both, perhaps?

As someone who has suffered various phobias in his life and still is tagged with a few, I find the question of fear fascinating and critical as a link to our core beliefs and sense of the world. Illuminating is the fact that many people live in fear, whether a subtle fear that is bearable and kept simmering in a thankful distant background or a stronger fear that intrudes itself upon a person during the day and can make life difficult. Unless we truly believe in a hereafter, the canopy of our adult lives is the presence of vulnerability and death, and that naturally makes us live with some type of fear. So, welcome to the club. You are not alone--and neither am I.

Phobias and panic are considered psychiatric disorders. The government's National Institute of Mental Health classifies them under the umbrella "Anxiety Disorders," and Anxiety Disorders are classified, along with "Mood Disorders," "Eating Disorders," etc. under the larger umbrella of "Mental Disorders." At this point I do not want to make a case for phobias, panic and anxiety being appropriate responses to life, but I will state that no one who is suffering from these conditions wants to suffer from them. (Unless they've developed an identity with their fear or use it as a means of generating sympathy and control--but these are issues to be addressed at some future point and not now.)

At times, I wonder how many people suffer from "Mental Disorders" in our society. The NIMH states that: "An estimated 26.2 percent of Americans ages 18 and older — about one in four adults — suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year." Yes, one in four, making up about 57.7 million people in the United States. For panic disorder, the statistics are the following:

• Approximately 6 million American adults ages 18 and older, or about 2.7 percent of people in this age group in a given year, have panic disorder.
• Panic disorder typically develops in early adulthood (median age of onset is 24), but the age of onset extends throughout adulthood.
• About one in three people with panic disorder develops agoraphobia, a condition in which the individual becomes afraid of being in any place or situation where escape might be difficult or help unavailable in the event of a panic attack.

Again, welcome to the club. You are not alone, and neither am I.

Sometimes, when I walk the streets, I would like to see on people's foreheads the names of the medications they are taking--for all sorts of problems, both psychological and physical. My betting is that at least half of the people we see are taking something for some ailment. And yet, foolish mortals that we are, we look upon people as being free of the same troubles, doubts, fears, moods that we succumb to, even if just once in a while. We cannot read people's thoughts; their outward forms generally do not reveal their inner struggles. We are all good actors; acting is imperative for survival and good communication.

So whenever you are in a shitty mood or filled with doubt and anxiety, do not pass people by, thinking how lucky they are. For chances are good, that they are members of the same club you belong to.

You are not alone, and neither am I.

Camille's Brave Face

The recently released DVD of Riccardo Freda's TRAGIC CEREMONY revealed to me something I have never noticed: Camille Keaton's brave face. I've had a liking for this actress since seeing her in the infamous I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE, but perhaps due to the long hair she had that, hippy-style, covered most of her cheeks and jaw I never spotted that she had slight scaring on her face. In the "Camille's European Adventure" featurette present on TRAGIC CEREMONY, the actress unhesitatingly admits: "I was involved in a car accident in 1969, which left me with some scars. And that was before I went into the film business. And I was self-conscious about the scars, and being able to make films was a very positive thing for me."

Not only does the DVD release show in clarity these scars, but it also shows that Camille suffered from a skin condition (probably acne) that manifested itself in a series of bumps that hovered chiefly around her mouth. As with any scaring or skin condition, lighting is crucial in hiding, minimizing or highlighting details, and in certain shots Camille's "brave face" is surprisingly evident and would have been much more so on the big screen. I write "surprisingly" because we are talking about an institution (cinema) that is careful to choose lead actresses with the clearest complexions. Not so with Camille, who had a moderate, short-lived success in Italy during the early 1970s. She was even a model for women's and men's magazines.

It is kind of inspirational that this young actress with scaring and a skin condition decided to become a model and an actress, and that she ventured into those domains despite what must have been serious doubts and even fears (and possibly other voices which may have been discouraging her from those career paths). She succeeded where the vast majority of hopefuls did not, and is a "cult" film personality with a fan base that many working actresses do not have.

Congratulations on your bravery, Camille. You fought the system in your own way, a fight few were aware of, and you won.

I'll be paying more attention to Camille from now on...and her brace face.

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Addendum: I've been informed by the lady herself that the skin condition mentioned above was, indeed, acne, a possibly allergic-sourced outbreak which occurred after she arrived in Madrid for shooting of the film.

The Great Amitabh Bachchan

What's this? Over a month without posting anything here? Busy and somewhat difficult times.... Well, I left with music, and now I'm back with music.

Today I had lunch with my good friend Louis at NYC's Curry In A Hurry. Shouldn't have taken the lamb, as most of it was bone, but lots of basmati rice and cauliflower made up for that. (And the sweet rice pudding filled up whatever space was left in my stomach.) Upstairs, in the dining area, the restaurant has an large HD monitor, and they were playing some recent movie musical numbers featuring Amitabh Bachchan. For those who don't know who Amitabh Bachchan is--probably most everyone who reads this blog--Bachchan is a god in India, that country's most popular actor of the last few decades. Ages ago, I use to make a point of seeing his films at the Indian theaters in NYC (Bombay Cinema in Manhattan--long gone--and some theater in Jackson Heights). The pairing of Bachchan and fellow Hindi actor Sashi Kapoor was always a guarantee of seeing a quality and important film from Bombay (or, as it is called now, Bollywood). I hope to write more about Indian film and the importance of seeing these films in a theater, but now back to Bachchan--and the music I promised.

After lunch, Louis and I headed over to an Indian CD and DVD store nearby, where I picked up a double film score set of two Bachchan films--NASEEB and SHAAN. The latter is one of my all time favorite Indian films with life affirming music that inspires, thrills, and bounces/shakes your body instinctively. Great stuff.

Here are two clips from these films.

This one is from NASEEB:



And this one is from SHAAN; Bachchan with Shashi Kapoor, and the stunning Parveen Babi and adorably cute Bindiya Goswami. This is one of the most joyous bits of cinema from India, or from anywhere in the world, in my opinion:

Mesmerizing Video

The most mesmerizing video on YouTube:



Music by the gentleman below, incidentally.

The Yin and the Yang

I find this eminently fascinating. So I was journeying through the internet in search of entrancing music for the spirit and came across this site:

http://cdxonline.co.za

... and the album that's previewed there--15 YEARS OF SHANTI MUSIC. I play the sample selections and they are some of the most beautiful music I have heard. Most of the selections are by Oliver Shanti. As this is someone I have never heard of, I do a Google search on the name and find there's a brief Wikipedia entry on him:

Oliver Shanti (Born Ulrich Schulz 16 November 1948 in Hamburg), later known as Oliver Serano-Alve, is a New Age musician. His group "Oliver Shanti & Friends" has recorded several CDs, including "Circles Of Life" - The Best Of Oliver Shanti (1997), "Tai Chi", "Seven Times Seven, "Alhambra", "Listening To The Heart", "Medicine Power", and "Rainbow Way".

Two tracks by Oliver Shanti & Friends were featured in the Buddha Bar compilations: "Onon Mweng (Rainbird)" in the Buddha Bar II compilation produced by Claude Challe and "Sacral Nirvana" in the Buddha Bar III compilation.

Then there is this amazing last line:

In 2002, a warrant for his arrest was issued in Germany (English version), with a €3000 reward offered.

A link provides a PDF of the arrest warrant:

http://www.polizei.bayern.de

Ulrich Schulz, aka Oliver Shanti, aka Oliver Serano, aka Oliver Serano-Alve, a man who is "extreme overweight" at ca. 308-374 pounds, is being sought for... "serious child sexual abuse."

Then there's this:

From the ThinkSpain website, dated April 20, 2007:

Spanish police hunt German 'chill-out' star accused of child abuse

The Fugitives Unit of the Spanish National Police are looking for Oliver Shanti, a 58 year old German musician who is also the leader of a sect believed responsible for sexually molesting over a thousand young children. Shanti himself is accused of abusing over a hundred children during orgies at a mansion owned by the sect in Germany where Shanti used to lived with dozens of minors.

Investigators are focusing their efforts on the south of the Galicia region close to the Portuguese village where the singer now lives. Shanti is somewhat of a local celebrity in Vila Nova de Cerveira, where he has been honoured for his generosity after donating a sculpture and funding several ambulances.

German police have circulated a photo-fit description of Shanti and offered a €3,000 euro reward for information leading to his capture.

And much more here:

Tenerife News

Though the crimes were different, why am I reminded of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh?

The Joy of Writing Liner Notes

I've been writing DVD liner notes for a number of years, and they always are a unique challenge. Somehow, one has to fill up a certain amount of space with text that is informative and hopefully interesting. The past year I've been busy doing liners for BCI's Deimos line of Paul Naschy and Spanish horror DVDs, and as these appear as foldout six pagers, there's much that can be written, if I like. I'm not mandated to write a certain length, but I have a goal of at least a thousand words. The reality is that once I get going, I proceed much further than that, nearing the two thousand mark on occasion. At times, these liners write themselves--meaning, the ideas and background information flow freely. At other times, at the beginning, I wonder how I will be about to write one hundred words, let alone a thousand or two. Both scenarios presented themselves with the liners I am finishing off now, both for Naschy films--HUMAN BEASTS and BLUE EYES OF THE BROKEN DOLL. It may be a case of burn-out, but I just didn't know what I could write about BLUE EYES OF THE BROKEN DOLL. I felt that HUMAN BEASTS would be the easier of the two, as I knew I would want to write about Naschy's involvement with Japan and Japanese capital. But even then, there would be serious work ahead. Well, as it turned out, while mulling over the BLUE EYES "angle," I had an inspiration of just what I wanted to do with the piece, and now I've more text on BLUE EYES, the supposed difficult assignment, and less on HUMAN BEASTS. No matter. I am thankful for the burst of inspiration, wherever it comes from, wherever it goes.

Today (Sunday), I managed to get one more detail into my HUMAN BEASTS liners: the English translation of the Japanese title of the video release. I went to St. Mark's Place, here in Manhattan, which nowadays has been taken over by Japanese food shops, restaurants and sushi bars, and many Asian kids, not all of them Japanese. I thought I would have an easy time of it, and with a copy of the Japanese cover of HUMAN BEASTS, I approached several store clerks... to find that none knew how to read Japanese! Either they were almost too young to care about ever learning the language, except maybe in talking it with their parents, or they were not Japanese. Disappointed, I made my way home, determined to stop in one last place--a Japanese restaurant on Second Avenue that was closer to home. I always see female waitresses there, so I was hesitant about going inside and showing the rather brutal and gory video cover. I still wasn't certain I would go through with my intention, when I saw a young Japanese guy cleaning up the floor near the entrance. So I rushed in before he could escape into the back and politely asked him if he would translate the writing on the cover. There was still a chance he wouldn't know either Japanese or English well enough to do the job, but he did it perfectly, adding that the film was in the horror genre, as his translation of the title was rendered with a little amused embarrassment. Thanking him "very much," I left the restaurant, but in turning a corner, I decided to go back and ask him to write down his name, as I wanted to acknowledge his help with a thanks at the end of the liner notes. And so, the translation of the Japanese title will appear in the liners, as will this young man's name.

So it goes. Piece by piece, these liners get filled up with factoids and research and some opinion. And it can take two hours of pursuing someone who reads Japanese, or two hours to translate an article in an old Spanish cinema magazine, for the gift of a single sentence.

Philadelphia Scenes

A city with many dreams for the offering if you walk down the right streets/allies. Photographs can barely hint at quite atmosphere, warm with melancholia and spirits of another time.

The Pan Within

The Waterboys. I believe in the Pan within. Fauny video, too.

Home is Where the Heart Is?

[Written away from home.]

Being away for a longer period of time from what was one's adult home for nearly two decades makes one reflect on what a home is and its value. Particularly after a nasty, but symbolically rich dream in which one was never able to get home. (A dream that would make a splendid, absurdist European movie.)

As a person gets older, the roots are dug deeper into what constitutes home, till finally, it seems, the senior citizen merely dozes in his or her favorite chair by the electronic warmth of a TV monitor. There is contentment to an extent, though shadowed by the anxiety of impending death. We are born into security, seek change and adventure starting in our teens, and then, once past our forties, become ever receptive to being at home, cozy and snug with the possessions that give us comfort by their familiarity and evocation of nostalgia. I don't know if this inevitable fate is the one I want for myself, but I feel these impulses, which are, after all, natural to the human condition. I'd replace the TV monitor with a crackling fireplace and a book resting on my lap--and I'd be set. Still, even in such a passive old age, I'd want some excitement. But would dreams be excitement's only channel?

More to come....

Life Changes

September was a time for a couple of considerable Life Changes. The biggest one was the departure of my son for college in Washington, DC. I was a Mr. Mom to my son, so his departure was emotional for me, and a life passage for the both of us. Though I've been a long-time proponent of independence and striking out on one's own, when you experience the absence of someone you love dearly, someone you have raised and have had great fun with--well, you get a different perspective, and start thinking how natural it is for families to live under one roof or at least in close proximity. And then, if you've had only one child, you also think if it wouldn't have been more natural and healthy to have an extra one or two. Maybe a dozen to make up a sports team. The reality would be, of course, that such a situation would prove very costly and that any goals one might have outside of raising and supporting a family would probably vanish.

Anyway, here's a toast to my son's new adventures in a new life. I know I was eager for the same things when I was in my late teens, and he should enjoy life to the fullest. Youth cannot be, should not be, wasted.