I'm not really a melancholy man, but....

This is a great song and melody and performance and video presentation.... Watching the clouds go by with Mike Pinder and The Moody Blues.

A New Month

Last month--well, with just one posting at the beginning, you can tell that it was another one filled too much to do, too many distractions, and when the moments were right, too much procrastination. This time, also, some unfortunate news that relates to my personal life came to the forefront of my thoughts and emotions.

As usual, there must be music when I return. So here it is:



I very much recommend the CD, btw.

Another Book!

Another book when none of the earlier ones have been finished.... But on May 23 the idea came, as did the urgency. So something was written... Surprising me. We'll see.

The Immortal Soul Sweetened by Mortality

.... Or the mortal soul freed by death to join immortality forever.

The world within, the world outside, merged into one expansive universe. Each of us has the same understanding.

Finally!

Today I sent out a translation submission to two major publishers--something I've been meaning to do for months. When you finally DO IT (whatever it is you've been wanting to do), there's a psychological release of a great understanding that it was all simple and could have been just as simple when you had the motivation first.

Anyway, as I was preparing the submissions, mathematical chances fell into place. If I needed just two more sheets of paper to type something out, two more sheets would be exactly there, left in what had been a pile of paper. Things like that. Not that I ascribe any supernatural elements to the preparations, just the steady appearance of random chance that I find interesting. Now, if the submission to either publishing house meets with success, then I should reexamine the situation.

All of us get these "finally!" moments when we take action after action has been delayed. These moments are very good, indeed, and produce the energy for achieving more "finally" moments that haven't yet arrived.

This translation project is not part of the two goals I referred to in my last post. Close to them, however, and certainly a priority in the overall scheme of life accomplishments. For those two more immediate goals I want to, need to, say "Finally! in the coming months.

Back to the translation submission: Long shots, even though I believe that if accepted, the resulting published book would meet with wide notice, critical acclaim and at the very least good sales. But the publication of translations in the United States is primarily limited to the small press, something I want to get out of.

May 1st

Today is the traditional Workers' Day and an even more traditional pagan day of celebrating something or another, probably whatever was considered spring in those ancient times or the coming of warm weather, the earth blooming and becoming productive again.

It's a new month anyway and a good moment to recommit to one's own personal work and yearned-for productiveness.

They are several goals I'd like to actualize in the coming summer months. Two are worth mentioning in just a journal notation type of way: One is to finish off a project I started several years ago and which I promise myself every other month to finally finish. The other is to substantially complete a book of fiction whose concept is, I think, unique and whose message (yes, there is one at least) is vital to the world some of us live in. The novel has already been begun, but still is in the brewing stage effectively. It is not the first time I've tried my hand at a longer fictional work (I've already had short stories published here and there), but I only finished one novel a long time ago, and it was trash and almost went into the trash. This one, the new one, is different, however. Because now I have something to say, and I believe I know how to say it.

There are other concurrent and important projects I must somehow attend to, but the above two are the ones that will critically determine my psychological state as the year nears its end. The most spirit impacting will be the novel goal. This I know. Of course, there will be unforeseen events that will have their influence, too. But the impulses of body and mind, and the discipline of both, must be directed toward the two goals. Life will deal with the rest.

Musical Interlude

Whenever I'm away from the blog for a few weeks (which means things have been personally hectic), it's always good to come back with a musical clip from You Tube. This one brought tears to my weary eyes. Perhaps the Halina Poswiatowska poetry I had been reading beforehand had primed me emotionally, perhaps the cloudy, lonely day outside or that the actor reminded me somewhat of my son. Whatever the reason, this clip melted me. It is a montage of photos from a Polish Chopin film (CHOPIN PRAGNIENIE MILOSCI, 2002) scored with Chopin's Waltz no. 19 in A Minor. I must see this film!

Times Square is No More

Once in a while, I go back to the old neighborhood, which for a year or two was Times Square, as I lived in a SRO (Single Room Occupancy) hotel around 1980. Whenever I go back I become shocked, once again, at the speedy tearing down of older buildings and their replacement with either glass slivers or massively tall business/hotel/tenant buildings that, like their sliver counterparts, lack architectural uniqueness or inspiration. These buildings are impressive in a bullyish, luggish sort of way--they overwhelm the senses simply due to their height, as they plunge the streets below into shadow and deny the pedestrian the sight of any expansive horizon.

This last, most recent visit has confirmed to me that Times Square is no more. Anything that remains of the old New York is the odd man out (or odd building out). The neighborhood has been transformed. The heart and soul of this part of New York is gone, and, sadly, other neighborhoods in Manhattan are suffering the same fate or headed in the same direction.



Pictured above: Heading up 8th Avenue, between 40 and 41 St., one finds this pristine, just finished NY Times building that rises 52 stories. There used to be a row of small buildings here that contained local, and cheap, food and clothing stores--and, yes, a few sex emporiums. Another high rise building is scheduled to be built between 41 and 42 St.



Above: This is a view of 42 St, from 8th Avenue looking east. Note the shadows.

For a few decades, the Times Square area was known and visited for its many double-bill theatres, which showed a wide range of B-films, foreign and domestic, and its porn "palaces" and smaller sex stores. 8th Avenue had some of the seediest porn emporiums, rich with X-rated films and magazines, peep shows, live actions shows and live action girls, and ejaculations from passionate and sometimes frenzied, but otherwise well-behaved, men. A particular favorite among the male clientèle, but almost never written about, were the booths a customer entered that contained a metal paneled window that would rise when the customer deposited his token (bought inside the store) to reveal naked girls on a confined stage, one of whom would approach the customer for a $1 tip that allowed the customer to touch the girl for a brief period of time until the window went down. The $1 tip rose to $2 before this live girl action disappeared courtesy the Giuliani Administration's crack-down on porn palaces. Only a couple of live girl places are open nowadays in the Times Square region, and the entertainment has gotten more expensive and devoid of genuine human contact. Whoever may wish to indulge in this new entertainment gets a nude masturbation show from a girl who is separated from the customer by a glass window. Cost $30.

In the photo below you will see one of these dinosaur 8 Avenue establishments (the white building) and to its right a nude entertainment bar that may or may not have full nudity. (I'm not up on the current zoning laws, which may prohibit full nudity in a place that serves alcohol.) What you should pay attention to in the photo are not these buildings, however, but rather the empty space to the right that is surrounded by a low wooden wall painted blue. That empty space takes up a quarter of an entire block (the block, not just the street). Without doubt, we will see a massive high-rise there by the end of the year. A long life expectancy of the buildings you do see is surely in doubt.



[All photos above: Mirek]

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Addendum 3/13/08: Doing some Googling, I came across photos of what was demolished--several buildings, including "The Playpen," which at one time was a movie theater, but in its last years was a porn emporium. With these photos, the memories of what was there flooded back to me: a SRO hotel on the corner, a novelty "Funny Store," a nice red brick walk-up, one more porn place, smaller than The Playpen.

Here's The Playpen years ago, with its distinctive neon live-girl. That's the way I remember it when I lived in the area.



Here's the facade before demolition. By then the neon girl had been replaced with a New York City skyline, showing the Twin Towers.



Here's a nice lens-eye photo of all the buildings that went down:



Gone!



[None of these addendum photos had photographer credits, but if anyone can ID the photographers, I'll gladly put up that information.]

An attempt was made to save The Playpen. A committee was formed with an online petition:

We, the undersigned, recognize the history of the Playpen Theater, which has stood at 693 8th Avenue at 44th Street, New York City, for over 91 years. Operating under the names of the Ideal, Esquire, Squire, Cinecitta, New Cameo, Cameo, Adonis, and the Playpen, this theater has survived over 9 decades of the City's development.

Built in the Beaux-Arts style in 1916 by S. Eisendrath & B. Horowitz, the same architects of Brooklyn's landmarked Congregation Beth Elohim synagogue, the architecture of this structure should be preserved for future generations.

We recognize that the theater was a neighborhood theater from 1916 until the 1930s, when it became a leading "arthouse" and foreign film cinema for over 40 years. Thus this building is a vibrant thread in the fabric of our City's cultural history.

Thus, to lose the Playpen Theater would be a tragic misfortune for the citizens of the City of New York.

We call upon you, Mr. Tishman, to save the theater from demolition.

We call upon you, New York City officials and the NYC Landmarks Preservation Commission, to save the theater, to "list" it under the Special Theater Subdistrict zoning laws, and to protect the Playpen Theater as a New York City landmark as soon as possible.

One interesting fact: During its long history, the theater showed Russian films and the FBI was staked out opposite trying to uncover communists!

I'm Just a Dreamer

I just heard this song and had to find a YouTube clip. Problem is that Ozzy is too much of a joke now, but if you can discard that and listen to the song, you may get something nice from it. Beatle-like, Lennon-like, Harrison-like, with a good bit of ELO, in there, I think. Ozzy's "Imagine."

I'm impressed.

I must add that I like dreaming, although not much is accomplished by it.

New Book Project #1

On Thursday, the 21st of this month, February, I received an e-mail stating that my book proposal was accepted by a publishing house. The contract should follow in the mail. I'm rather mysteriously keeping more information private for a number of reasons. So this is a mere notation, in a journal-type situation.

Though a part of the book is done in draft form, much work will be needed for the due date of March of next year. I'm looking forward to the work, however, as the topic is something I've been fascinated with and researching for years. The book will be significant and hopefully of solid use to an interested readership.

In all such endeavors, one has to manage one's time and become more organized than ever before. Time management and organization have been my weaknesses, so it's imperative that I get better at both.

The Only Thing We Have to Fear

... is fear itself.

While websurfing I came across this page on NBC, What Freaks Stars Out? A slideshow presents celebrities and their phobias. We learn, for instance, that Drew Barrymore has a fear of enclosed spaces (claustrophobia), Kim Basinger, a fear of open spaces (agoraphobia), David Boreanaz, a triple threat of closed spaces, heights and waterfalls, Colin Farrell and Aretha Franklin, a fear of flying, Sarah Michelle Geller, a fear of graveyards, Nicole Kidman, a fear of acting (no, that's not a joke--I think!), Madonna fears thunder, while Matthew McConaughey fears revolving doors and tunnels. The list goes on.

Unfortunately, the piece does not mention what these celebrities do to overcome their fears (if their fears are overcome). Do they take medication? Are they going through therapy? A combination of both, perhaps?

As someone who has suffered various phobias in his life and still is tagged with a few, I find the question of fear fascinating and critical as a link to our core beliefs and sense of the world. Illuminating is the fact that many people live in fear, whether a subtle fear that is bearable and kept simmering in a thankful distant background or a stronger fear that intrudes itself upon a person during the day and can make life difficult. Unless we truly believe in a hereafter, the canopy of our adult lives is the presence of vulnerability and death, and that naturally makes us live with some type of fear. So, welcome to the club. You are not alone--and neither am I.

Phobias and panic are considered psychiatric disorders. The government's National Institute of Mental Health classifies them under the umbrella "Anxiety Disorders," and Anxiety Disorders are classified, along with "Mood Disorders," "Eating Disorders," etc. under the larger umbrella of "Mental Disorders." At this point I do not want to make a case for phobias, panic and anxiety being appropriate responses to life, but I will state that no one who is suffering from these conditions wants to suffer from them. (Unless they've developed an identity with their fear or use it as a means of generating sympathy and control--but these are issues to be addressed at some future point and not now.)

At times, I wonder how many people suffer from "Mental Disorders" in our society. The NIMH states that: "An estimated 26.2 percent of Americans ages 18 and older — about one in four adults — suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year." Yes, one in four, making up about 57.7 million people in the United States. For panic disorder, the statistics are the following:

• Approximately 6 million American adults ages 18 and older, or about 2.7 percent of people in this age group in a given year, have panic disorder.
• Panic disorder typically develops in early adulthood (median age of onset is 24), but the age of onset extends throughout adulthood.
• About one in three people with panic disorder develops agoraphobia, a condition in which the individual becomes afraid of being in any place or situation where escape might be difficult or help unavailable in the event of a panic attack.

Again, welcome to the club. You are not alone, and neither am I.

Sometimes, when I walk the streets, I would like to see on people's foreheads the names of the medications they are taking--for all sorts of problems, both psychological and physical. My betting is that at least half of the people we see are taking something for some ailment. And yet, foolish mortals that we are, we look upon people as being free of the same troubles, doubts, fears, moods that we succumb to, even if just once in a while. We cannot read people's thoughts; their outward forms generally do not reveal their inner struggles. We are all good actors; acting is imperative for survival and good communication.

So whenever you are in a shitty mood or filled with doubt and anxiety, do not pass people by, thinking how lucky they are. For chances are good, that they are members of the same club you belong to.

You are not alone, and neither am I.

Camille's Brave Face

The recently released DVD of Riccardo Freda's TRAGIC CEREMONY revealed to me something I have never noticed: Camille Keaton's brave face. I've had a liking for this actress since seeing her in the infamous I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE, but perhaps due to the long hair she had that, hippy-style, covered most of her cheeks and jaw I never spotted that she had slight scaring on her face. In the "Camille's European Adventure" featurette present on TRAGIC CEREMONY, the actress unhesitatingly admits: "I was involved in a car accident in 1969, which left me with some scars. And that was before I went into the film business. And I was self-conscious about the scars, and being able to make films was a very positive thing for me."

Not only does the DVD release show in clarity these scars, but it also shows that Camille suffered from a skin condition (probably acne) that manifested itself in a series of bumps that hovered chiefly around her mouth. As with any scaring or skin condition, lighting is crucial in hiding, minimizing or highlighting details, and in certain shots Camille's "brave face" is surprisingly evident and would have been much more so on the big screen. I write "surprisingly" because we are talking about an institution (cinema) that is careful to choose lead actresses with the clearest complexions. Not so with Camille, who had a moderate, short-lived success in Italy during the early 1970s. She was even a model for women's and men's magazines.

It is kind of inspirational that this young actress with scaring and a skin condition decided to become a model and an actress, and that she ventured into those domains despite what must have been serious doubts and even fears (and possibly other voices which may have been discouraging her from those career paths). She succeeded where the vast majority of hopefuls did not, and is a "cult" film personality with a fan base that many working actresses do not have.

Congratulations on your bravery, Camille. You fought the system in your own way, a fight few were aware of, and you won.

I'll be paying more attention to Camille from now on...and her brace face.

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Addendum: I've been informed by the lady herself that the skin condition mentioned above was, indeed, acne, a possibly allergic-sourced outbreak which occurred after she arrived in Madrid for shooting of the film.

The Great Amitabh Bachchan

What's this? Over a month without posting anything here? Busy and somewhat difficult times.... Well, I left with music, and now I'm back with music.

Today I had lunch with my good friend Louis at NYC's Curry In A Hurry. Shouldn't have taken the lamb, as most of it was bone, but lots of basmati rice and cauliflower made up for that. (And the sweet rice pudding filled up whatever space was left in my stomach.) Upstairs, in the dining area, the restaurant has an large HD monitor, and they were playing some recent movie musical numbers featuring Amitabh Bachchan. For those who don't know who Amitabh Bachchan is--probably most everyone who reads this blog--Bachchan is a god in India, that country's most popular actor of the last few decades. Ages ago, I use to make a point of seeing his films at the Indian theaters in NYC (Bombay Cinema in Manhattan--long gone--and some theater in Jackson Heights). The pairing of Bachchan and fellow Hindi actor Sashi Kapoor was always a guarantee of seeing a quality and important film from Bombay (or, as it is called now, Bollywood). I hope to write more about Indian film and the importance of seeing these films in a theater, but now back to Bachchan--and the music I promised.

After lunch, Louis and I headed over to an Indian CD and DVD store nearby, where I picked up a double film score set of two Bachchan films--NASEEB and SHAAN. The latter is one of my all time favorite Indian films with life affirming music that inspires, thrills, and bounces/shakes your body instinctively. Great stuff.

Here are two clips from these films.

This one is from NASEEB:



And this one is from SHAAN; Bachchan with Shashi Kapoor, and the stunning Parveen Babi and adorably cute Bindiya Goswami. This is one of the most joyous bits of cinema from India, or from anywhere in the world, in my opinion: